Moon water 🌔 cleansing 🚀

A cartoon crab is enthusiastically talking to a stick figure girl who looks a little bemused. The crabs says: As a Cancer sun woman, my relationship with the moon is a deep and intimate one.

The crab continues: So it was no surprise that my TikTok algorithm started recommending I make moon water. The girl’s eyebrows have popped up.

The crab continues: Making moon water is an ancient practice of alchemically activating water molecules with the emanations that radiate from the light of a full moon. The girl’s eyebrows are still up. She has turned her head to hide her face from the crab and is smiling a little.

The crab continues: When you drink the moon water or use it on your face as a beauty treatment, you are vibrationally tuning into the energy of the moon that is stored within the molecules of water.The girl’s head is still turned and she is smirking with one hand over her mouth.

The crab continues: And according to a company that makes handcrafted small-batch moon-charged water in Florida, the uses for moon water are endless. The girl’s head is still turned and she is giggling with one hand over her mouth.

The crab continues: You could create a bath ritual, charge and cleanse crystals, cleanse your energetic body, cleanse your home to remove stagnant energy and more. The girl faces the crab again. She is giggling with both hands over her mouth.

The crab continues: You can also use it to clean your floor. The girl’s head is thrown back, her eyes are closed and she is hugging her belly as she laughs.

The crab looks confused. Its claws go a bit limp. The girl is now bent over laughing so hard she can’t speak. In her thought bubble is the laughing-with-tears emoji.

The girl is standing in a blue puddle. She says: That’s handy because I just peed on it. The crab looks sad and deflated. Its claws and antennae are drooping.

The girl has a science textbook open and is facing the viewer. She says: You have just read direct quotes from a serious article in Allure magazine (apart from the bit about peeing). Allure estimates a total global footprint of 6.3 million unique digital users plus millions more print readers and social followers. Allure has won several awards and been applauded for covering controversial health issues, and promoting diversity and inclusivity. And yet, like many other magazines, it continues to peddle this kind of fact-free astrological nonsense to smart women. The Moon is very cool, but probably not a great floor cleaner. Some real Moon facts are at the NASA link below.

1. Mitchell A. How to Make Moon Water and Use It In Your Beauty Routine. Allure. Available at: (Last updated: Apr 2021, accessed: Apr 2021).
2. Allure global total footprint. Conde Nast. Available at: (Accessed: Apr 2021).
3. Allure (magazine). Available at: (Last updated: Apr 2021, accessed: Apr 2021).
4. Earth’s Moon. NASA Science: Solar System Exploration. Available at: (Last updated: Feb 2021, accessed: Apr 2021).