Mercury retrograde ↔️ πŸ”₯ πŸš€

There is a warning in the bottom right corner that reads: *Warning: based on real 'information' from*. A stick figure astrologer, dressed like a wizard, is flailing his arms at a stick figure scientist. He says: Are you prepared for the frustration and terror of the next Mercury retrograde - the most nerve-wracking event in astrology!? She replies: Uh ... no ... it's an optical illusion caused by Mercury having a smaller orbit around the Sun than Earth.

The astrologer looks impatient and confused. The scientist continues: Think of it like this. As you approach a slow car on the highway, you can tell it's moving in the same direction as you. When you reach it and overtake, it appears to go backwards. Once you're past, it looks like it's moving in your direction again.

The astrologer starts shaking the now cross-looking scientist by the shoulders, yelling: But it's real! I'll wake up late, my laptop will be wiped and my car will run out of petrol! I can't sign contracts, make financial decisions, start a new job or use fancy kitchen gadgets to cook elaborate meals!

The scientist has calmly pushed the astrologer to the ground, he looks bemused and his legs are kicking in the air. She says: Dude, breathe ... the gravity of such distant bodies will not affect random objects or food preparation - this would go against everything we know about physics. The only thing 'real' about Mercury retrograde is that it's not important, unusual or interesting.

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2. Crockett C. What is retrograde motion? EarthSky. Available at: (Last updated: February 2017; accessed July 2021).
3. What does it mean for Mercury to be in retrograde? NASA Goddard Space Flight Center, Starchild. Available at: (Last updated: June 2002; accessed: July 2021).
4. Kubota T. No, Mercury retrograde will not mess up your life. LiveScience. Available at: (Last updated: May 2016; accessed July 2021).
5. Mercury retrograde, explained WITHOUT astrology. Vox. Available at: (Last updated: September 2016; accessed: July 2021.)

Taurus 2021 πŸ‚ health risks πŸš€

A cartoon bull is talking to a stick figure guy with a telescope. The bull says: As a Taurean, this year I’m at risk of goitre, abscesses and diseases of the genitals.

They swap positions and now the bull is looking through the telescope. The guy says enthusiastically: Check out this orangey star called Aldebaran - the eye of the Taurus constellation. In 1972, we launched a probe called Pioneer 10 that survived the asteroid belt and made it to Jupiter. We lost contact with it in 2003. It was heading towards Aldebaran and will arrive in about 2 million years.

The guy adds: By the way, you’re also at risk of me punching you in the snout if you keep subscribing to that star sign app. The bull has turned its face around to look at the guy, surprised.

1. Astrology Online. Taurus. Available at: (Accessed: Apr 2021).
2. Collins Petersen C. How to Find the Taurus Constellation. ThoughtCo. Available at: (Last updated: Nov 2019, accessed: Apr 2021).
3. Zimmerman KA. Taurus Constellation: Facts About the Bull. Available at: (Last updated: Nov 2018, accessed: Apr 2021).
4. Mewhinney M. Pioneer 10 spacecraft sends last signal. NASA. Available at: (Last updated: Feb 2003, accessed: Apr 2021).

Aries 2021 🐏 love and fashion πŸš€

A cartoon ram says to a stick figure girl: Did you know that people born under Aries are going to be easier to love this year and should take their fashion inspo from Stella McCartney?

The girl replies to the ram enthusiastically: Did you know that researchers at the Palomar Observatory discovered a planet in the Aries constellation that has four suns orbiting it? It’s really big - about 10 times the mass of Jupiter. This four-star system is called β€˜30 ARI’ and it’s 136 light-years away. If you could look up at the daytime sky from this planet, you’d see a sun as well as two bright stars.

The girl adds with a smile: fyi, telling me stuff about your horoscope doesn’t make you easier to love. The ram hangs its head and looks a bit ashamed.

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3. Clavin W. Astronomers Identify a Quadruple Star System, 30 Ari. SciTechDaily. Available at: (Last updated: Mar 2015, accessed: Apr 2021).
4. Zimmerman KA. Aries Constellation: Facts About the Ram. Available at: (Last updated: Mar 2019, accessed: Apr 2021).