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Cancer 2021 🦀 learning 🚀

A stick figure guy and a crab are sitting looking at the stars. The guy says: I wish I knew the constellations, so this year I’m learning all about them.

The guy adds: Did you know that Cancer has a beautiful cluster of 1,000 gravitationally-bound stars known as the Beehive? It was one of the first things that Galileo studied with his telescope, around 1610.

The crab replies: I wish I was less susceptible to charlatans, so this year I’m following my astrologer’s advice to “learn to distinguish the genuine from the fake”.

The guy has raised his eyebrows and asks: What have you learned so far? The crab replies enthusiastically: I should drink more water, change my contraception and invest in space travel.

The crab adds: I’ve also learned I’ll be getting “big money”, including passive income from digital downloads of music, e-books and online courses. So I quit my job.

The guy asks: Are you rich yet? The crab despondently replies: No.

We now see a close up of the crab holding a bottle of serum and talking like a salesman: which is why this month’s comic is brought to you by Allies of Skin 35% Vitamin C+ Perfecting Serum, $118. Because Cancerians should ensure their skin looks its best with a healthy summer dose of Vitamin C!

The guy is talking directly to the viewer now and summarising the source material. He says: The astrology wisdom on panels 4 and 5 is from the ‘AstroTwins’ - sisters who claim their passion stems from a deep desire to create empowering media, particularly for women. Their ‘brand partnership’ page suggests there isn’t much they won’t do for a buck (“please inquire about our influencer rates and packages”) - including a week-long trip to Australia to promote an electricity bill plan (wtf). The wording from panel 7 is from Allure magazine … they have star-sign-specific product recommendations and ‘shop now’ links at the end of all June horoscopes, where they can earn an affiliate commission for any purchases. Because … err … I guess horoscopes and magic potions go hand in hand? We’re learning about the amazing-ness of space from great evidence-based sites, for free. It’s pretty empowering.

Sources:
1. McClure B and Byrd D. The Beehive: 1,000 Stars In Cancer. EarthSky. Available at: earthsky.org/clusters-nebulae-galaxies/praesepe-beehive-cluster (Last updated: March 2020; accessed: June 2021).
2. Cancer 2021 Yearly Horoscope. Astrology.com.au. Available at: astrology.com.au/horoscopes/yearly-horoscopes/cancer-yearly-horoscope (Accessed: June 2021).
3. The AstroTwins: 2021 Cancer Astrology Overview. Astrostyle. Available at: astrostyle.com/cancer-2021-horoscope (Accessed: June 2021).
4. What June’s Cancer Horoscope Predictions Mean for You. Allure. Available at: allure.com/story/cancer-horoscope-june-2021 (Last updated: May 2021; accessed June 2021).
5. The AstroTwins: Our Story. Astrostyle. Available at: astrostyle.com/astrotwins-our-story (Accessed: June 2021).
6. AstroTwins x You: Brand Partnerships. Astrostyle. Available at: astrostyle.com/brand-partnerships (Accessed: June 2021).
7. The Astro Twins: Fire, Earth, Air & Water: What type of sign are you? Origin Energy. Available at: originenergy.com.au/blog/the-astro-twins (Last updated: November 2018; accessed June 2021).